Insound Tour Support ep:

(these are only the jypu songs)

Seattle, WA (written by Owen Ashworth)
It’s always tight at the end of the month.
Until that check comes, there’s nothing for lunch.
I’m sick of all my stuff being halfway broke.
Too tired to pretend that I’m not sick of my friends.
Some days I’m sorry that I ever moved here.
Some days I think about moving back in with my folks.
Some days I think about moving up north, where rent is cheaper and I can have a house and porch to watch the rain, walk out in the rain, stand under the rain, and let Seattle wash me.

The Conversation Stalls
I’m not tired, I could still go out. I’m not obligated by the morning sun.
If we drink enough, we’ll be acting tough. We’ll laugh the loudest.
Let’s see them try and stop us. We could talk about the boys you know, a lover’s wink. And if the conversation stalls, we’ll get another drink.
I’m not opposed to never seeing you again after tonight. It’s the perfect ending to the perfect friendship that never quite began. We never quite began.
Oh, the keys to every car you’ve crashed, a faceless mob of people smashing windows on the boulevard over the fence from your backyard.
The billy clubs and pepper spray, you grabbed his belt and made his day.
With burning eyes and oily tears, we said goodbye, same time next year.
I apologize for everything.

Birthday Cake
Let’s go out tonight. I feel like picking a fight.
I feel like starting a brawl and then slipping out the back door.
Do you think that’s funny? I don’t think it’s funny.
But our backs have been broken too many times. We’ve seen all their tricks and we know all their lines and it’s not free, but it should be.
So we risk our necks and reputations. When we hit the ground, the needle skips.
I put a file in your birthday cake because a cheap cliche and a half-hearted
gesture is what you asked for this year. I spent a day on that damned mix tape.
I should have known that you’d have Nick Drake.
The saddest songs are the oldest news to you.
The saddest songs are the oldest news to you.
But our hearts have been broken too many times. We’ve seen all their tricks and we know all their lines and it’s time. Oh, it’s time.
So the saints are all lying on my kitchen floor, drifting in and out of consciousness and hanging on the screen door, saying, “Life is not free, but
it will be.” And they close their eyes and smile their smiles of bloody lips and broken teeth.
I put a file in your birthday cake because a cheap cliche and a half-hearted gesture is what you asked for this year. I spent a day on that damned mix tape. I should have known that you’d have Nick Drake. The saddest songs are the oldest news.
But do you find you’re so different? Have you never met your own friends?
Does the time move slowly only for you? Were the police reports, the articles, the eulogies written only for you?
I dreamt that I kissed you. I dreamt that I kissed you and then let you go.

Christmas Card
You thought I was confused. I thought it was strange that you had it all figured out.
You had it all wrong. I’ve been putting you off for months now.
Your letter I never replied to, you raise the alarm. You call the police.
I’ve been the supporting role, it’s clear. But now I’m stealing scenes and spilling beer. It’s just one less Christmas card this year.
I fold my newspaper in half. It’s better left unread I say, the propogandists hard at play.
I don’t think it’s sad, I don’t think it’s anything that I promised to and I never do.
I’ve been the supporting role, it’s clear. But now I’m stealing scenes and spilling beer. It’s one less Christmas card I’ll toss this year.
One less Christmas card this year.
So a Merry Goodbye from me to you. And a Happy Cram It the whole year through.
If I ever walk away, will you take me by the hair and remember I said I loved you once?

Homemade Drugs:

In Focus
Right on cue with your impeccable delivery, alienating but true. You laugh and I can’t reply. Lately I’ve been less than inspired as we cash all the checks just to barely make rent. Oh believe me, baby this time the truth will set you free. No more parties or platforms, no more sighing for nothing to say. The message you left was typically cryptic. You know more than you’re letting on and I, what I mean is, I’m speechless. Hangups on the answering machine. The curtains are open, I creep through the door and you’re already gone. The wood cracks, the glass smashed, the pain is never worth the wait. But oh believe me, baby this time the truth will set you free.

Distance
When your heart breaks you, when the lies shine through, when your father finds you sleeping in the rain like you do, do you let out a last breath? Do you give it the college try or do you just slump to one side? When you twist what’s true and the fingers point at you, when the bottom drops out on everything you knew and your youth what do you do? Do you intend to help me get back home or will you leave me stranded? I’m on to you. The strings are shown, the mirrors fog, the belt in its groove will slip out. When your heart breaks you, when the lies shine through, when your father finds you sleeping in the rain like you do, do you let out a last breath? Do you give it the college try or do you just slump to one side? And so you drop out of school and still you make excuses for the time and what you find. Do you intend to help me get back home or will you leave me stranded? I’m on to you. The strings are shown, the mirrors fog, the belt in its groove will slip out. Little by little you’ve drifted towards something you don’t understand and now you look at him and remember when you’d collapse into his arms.

Middle Harbor Road
This isn’t life. This isn’t ok. This isn’t much more than survival. I know the kids next door bother you. I’ve seen you flinch at the screams and the abuse. I know the cars at night honk at you. I’ve seen the rings around your eyes in the morning. They’re selling guns on the corner. Maybe we should reconsider. Well, how much do they want? This might be the best that we ever do, living in the gap between downtown and the water, filling in the blank spaces, clinging to you, miming through our lives again, sleeping with the lights on again. If we don’t take sides will we slip by unnoticed? If we duck inside, keep our heads down, don’t go out? “How much are they?” “How much is it worth to you?”

Reckless Driving
Once on the knees and once on the toes. If this is addiction, I don’t want to know. And I know all the words to what you said were your favorite songs. I sit outside your house late at night to watch the lights go off. Oh, why didn’t you see this coming? Oh, why couldn’t you see this coming? A knee in the gut, a boot in the eye. If this compulsion, I’m changing my mind. Cold and wet in a ditch by the side of the road somewhere, lie all of my dreams for you and me. I didn’t have to call, I could have left you there. You don’t know how hard it is not to see you. And I know that you’ve made up your mind and I know I can change it. And if not me, then my car, my vicious dog, a fire, my homemade drugs, a well-timed appearance in your rear-view mirror. I’ve all the time in the world. I’ve got all the time in the world. All the time, all the time. My car, my vicious dog, a fire, my homemade drugs, a well-timed appearance in your rear-view mirror. Oh, why couldn’t you see this coming?

Haunted Rooms
I think I was drunk, or nearly there for a while. I don’t remember everything I said, but I remember your smile. I don’t remember what song was on as we read the Missed Connections. We laughed at the ads and looked in different directions. Well it’s ok. I was joking - I didn’t really mean it anyway. No, it’s ok. I don’t think less of you, couldn’t if I wanted to. We’ll go our separate ways. And I’ll see you at the next show. I’ll smile and say hello, but I’ll try, I’ll try to avoid you. I buried the thoughts and tried not to notice. I felt so healthy and I talked for so long. No it’s ok. I was joking - I didn’t really mean it anyway. It weighs on my conscience, it calls me. They call me at 5am every morning. Well if I knew how to hit, if I threw the perfect fit, I’d tear it all off the walls. And if I knew what you wanted, I’d call you. There are haunted rooms in this house. (well, you should know.) They wrap me tight in the cold cold night when I, when I go. I’m so sorry to leave.

A Deep Deep Lake
Cold hands and always the last to know. Long drives and shadows that follow you home. Too late to find a light on, the tv’s glow. Dark hallways and a place that you shouldn’t go, and so, you go. Alcohol, alcohol. Take your seats. Hold your breath until the morning. Bar the door. It’s happening now. I sleep on the floor, seeping into the floorboards, up the walls, & into the ceiling. I’m watching the house from every angle now. I’m watching you sleep so tenderly. A broken skylight, a kicked-in door, all signs that you were here. A blackened eye. You’re a big man. You’re a big man. You’re such a big man. Thirty odd years and all I can do is grind my teeth at the memory of you. A long long drive, longer than before. Hallelujah, you never looked back. I never look back.

Double Negative
This, this is the truth. I’ve checked all my facts and I’ve got all the proof I need. I keep forgetting why I’m here, I keep feeling I shouldn’t be. The looks I keep getting, the talk in my ear keeps reminding me. It reminds me how our friendship died, how my presence here is a thorn in your side. I keep forgetting why I’m here, it’s because I’m a petty guy who spends his time fabricating useless lies. I wanna know why you had to say the things you said, the time you spent inside my head. I don’t mind. The truth is somewhere in between, hurting you and killing me. You are resigned with your shoulders shrugged, a sideways glance, a nodded head, a non-response. It’s so unkind. The truth is somehow hidden but still hurting you. It’s a lie. It’s my lovesong to you.

3+1
Honey, he doesn’t love you. Honey, he doesn’t love you. Can’t you see the resentment on his face, the subtle abuse in his tone? Can’t you hear the truth behind the jokes when he says he’d rather be alone? Honey, pookie, poodle, he doesn’t love you. Sometimes once is all it takes. You mother and Jesus hate you. But me, I haven’t changed. Maybe you should give me a call. Give me a call. I’m still the same old guy you knew in school, the oldest 18 and so, so tired of life. And so, so tired of life. Your life is ugly and ruthless. Your mother and Jesus hate you. But me, I still like you kind of so why won’t you give me a call? So I walked through the trees you lined your house with and I thought about that guy you’re going out with. And I thought I’d be useful for a change, so I picked up a rake, but I couldn’t figure out what to do with it. So I walked around the gardens in a sorry state and I looked around the table when I came in late and I saw all the food piled on my [plate] so I picked up my drink, but I couldn’t figure out where to throw it first. Oh, give me a call. I’m still the same old guy you knew in school, the oldest 18 and so so, so tired of life when I kiss you, so tired of life when I kiss you.

Lines Drawn
You can almost hear the reasons. You can practically mouth the words. And just like Oakland has no seasons, you can lie without concern. Crowned creep contacts concrete, concrete cracks. I forgot what I had to say- tension is such a funny thing that way. You draw the shades and curse the neighbors. You curse your bad luck. I’ve forgotten why we bother, live off our hopes for the other. You keep me waiting, I’ll be gone before too long. I want to show you what art means, I want to kiss you in the morning. I want this all to blow over, blow over again. I don’t want to say that I told you so, mmm but I told you so. Kill the kids and burn the car for all I said. Crowned creep contacts concrete, concrete cracks

Burning Flag
So the hours inside your house slow and you go from time to less time. And you’ve never felt as insincere as you do now. So you put on a record, and turn it off because nothing fits and the respite you get won’t come easy now, won’t come easy now. Where are the answers you had? Where are the faces you know? Where are the books that you quote? Where are the places you go? Where is the time that you saved? Where are the people who said that they’d always be by your side? Where have they all gone now, now that you need them? Your good will won’t keep you clean. Your talent won’t keep you clean. Your love won’t keep you clean. Your love doesn’t mean a thing when all that you’re left with is your rage and your powerlessness and your love. You’re left with your love.

Carol Channing
The warm, dry air of another town reminds me of the time I wasted on you. Did you miss your flight? I’ll call the airline and see if it’s delayed. Didn’t get much sleep last night. I could be with you, waiting in the wings, waiting in the wings. Well here we go. I’m 16 years old again, awkward and shy and unsure of myself. I cough and laugh and shift my weight and smile and think of how much I hate you for putting me through this. The warm, dry air of another town reminds me of the time I wasted on you. I wasted so much time on you. So here we go. I’m 16 years old again, awkward and shy and unsure of myself. I cough and laugh, shift my weight and smile and think of how much I hate you for putting me through this. And when my plane lands I’ll be so far away from here. So happy to be so far away from here.

King Rides By
[I don’t know if these words are correct, but this is what I’m singing.] If time had a place, a space for your past, like a little novel you wanted to read again and again, would I be in your novel? Would I begin and end in it? If I had a space, a place for your little boy eyes, could you really believe? I certainly dare you. I do not want to scare you anymore. Oh what a fuss when the king rides by. Oh what a fuss when the king rides straight through my heart, straight through my love [life?]. I need your love more than you’ll ever know. A light kiss, a touch of your hand like a million things I will never understand. Oh what a fuss when the king trades in. Oh what a fuss when the king trades all of my love for someone else’s hand. I need your love more than you’ll ever know. You don’t miss your water until your well is gone.

It's Winter Here:

Jeztz Mit Iodine
You explain things to me and I try to talk you out of things, but you leave parts out.
We met before we were friends. Other friends won’t end up like this.
You never use the resources and you’ll never fill in the pain.

Shark Repellant
The noise of the train at the platform is the same hollow sound I keep hearing in my head. Like the brakes on the bus when I left you, it’s> mechanical and final and cold. So we sat in your room and we drank all your beer and the words were right there. I was holding them back and I made a conscious choice to just laugh at your jokes and the pressure was making me nauseous. Baby, the spiral is tightening around me and it seems like this house just gets smaller and colder and I’m deeper in debt. Baby, it feels like you’re circling. So like survivors on some tropical waters I throw out the bait. I throw out the bait and hope for the best. Baby, I wish you the best. So what do you see this has all meant for me? It’s meant more days in bed and more time off work. When you wake in the morning and you can’t lift your head off the pillow you wonder how it came to this. Baby, it feels like you’re circling. So like survivors on some tropical waters I throw out the bait. I throw out the bait. Baby, the spiral is tightening around me. But I’m still hopeful. I nod and smile sweetly HRH Passive Agressive. I’d turn on the charm if I had some to turn on. Then maybe you’d keep me around for a while.

Breakdown
One last chance to say all the things you wanted to.
One last chance to sue all the people you wanted to.
You ask me what’s my greatest fear.
Honey, it’s living here earning $6.50/hr. And I feel like I'm being tested.
Don't test me.
One last chance to sue all the people you wanted to.
One last chance to slander all the people you wanted to.
You ask me what’s my greatest fear.
Honey, it’s living here earning $6.50/hr.
And often when I’m sitting in my room,
I stare at my poster of Prince,
and sometimes I think of you. And I spit when I do.
I...hate...that...piece...of....me...it...looks...too...much...like...you.

This Is The Last Day
Just once I’d like to feel like you were listening to what I say.
But this is the last day.
I can feel the waste when you walk by me.
You lie on the couch and look right past me.
I’m ready to find a home. I’m ready to find some place that feels like home.
I can see the fragments falling off you.
Young man, I only want to help you. And I can, but you still have to act so
suspicious. Give up the lies! There’s more to life than clinging to the very
thing that’s killing you and while you refuse, you’re looking older by the day.
But this will be the last day.
This is the last day that turns to night.
This is the last day that turns to night for me.
Give up the lies. There’s more to life.

Hello
Hello, good evening and goodnight. I’ve stayed too long and said too much.
Hello, good evening and goodnight. It’s far too late for me to say what I
should say to you, or should have said two years ago by now. And so, goodnight.
Hello defeat. It’s been a while... ok, it’s not been that long. You, you’ve
been hiding out in me wasting all your wasted knowlege, wasted on me.
Nothing could ever be easier for me, nothing could feel as good, as saying
goodbye. Yeah, yeah, I could be gone today. I could be miles away by
sunrise. I’ve been so kicked around..that today in my head, through my eyes,
it seems like something’s wrong. Well, there’s so much wrong and I don’t
know where to start and I don’t know where it ends. And most of all I just
don’t know if it’s you who has no place in this world.... or, if it’s me.
Last night I stopped breathing in my sleep again. What could it mean? Yeah,
I’m pretty sure what it means HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO.

Before I Left, After I Got Back
I squint at the clouds and wait for the next bus. If I had a dime, ok maybe a quarter, for every awful thought, I’d buy us a house somewhere in the South. I’d tell off your boss, maybe get you fired. We’d never look back. I’ve never felt better; you’ve never felt worse. Well, so what? I never feel better, you never feel bad. Well, so what? It’s stronger than girls; it’s colder than boys; it’s queerer than you and I combined. It’s crueler than death and colder than life. It’s meaner than us. It’s gay like Dad; it’s torturing Mom, forgotten like both. It’s judgements that stick. It’s doctors who kill. It’s patterns that won’t repeat again.

Monotonologue
(There’s three homeless guys on the corner watching me walk my dog, but they know I don’t have any money so they go back to talking. And there’s a strange blue glow in the houses- commercials with three images per second, MTV-style. And the houses with black windows, I’ve convinced myself that they’ve turned off the lights and they’re standing at the windows watching me. So I stop and stare back. But now my dog is eating something rotten off the ground, so I turn around and take it out of his mouth.)
High below the freeway with my faith in your hands,
| I could learn not to breathe if I have to.
There’s a feeling in my ribcage and it starts in my head.
And it hurts when you take someone in the bushes.
Oooo, I know I could lose you. Oooo, I know I could stop you. When I hold
you, I can’t get close enough. Mark my words for a thousand hours.
Or I could run for a week or two with someone else.

It's Winter Somewhere (ep):

were you misused?
Were you misused by your forward thinking boyfriend?
Were you confused? Were you often lonesome?
Were you left bruised? Did you tell him it’s ok?
Ok, can you take it back? Are you almost through?
Were you undone like Duran Duran?
Were you Unfun, like that rockin’ band?
Ok, I could help you leave. I could help you feel like it’s ok.
Can you make it back? Is he almost through with you?

SE corner
The street sounds different with the rain like your voice changes tone when
you complain. Like the car ahead will blur and swim and my thoughts are always somewhere else.
And I’m washed away in it as I wash my hands of it.
I give up. I’ll sleep on the floor tonight. I give up.
Somebody’s got to say something.
Somebody’s got to say something.

confidence in something shaky
Half asleep when you start quizzing me, I hear, I hear every other word and fill in my own. Half the time, I can’t take you seriously. The days double back and I’m living the same thing again and again and again. Sometimes I think you want to leave me to see if you can deceive me. I’ll tell you once, it’s not that hard. I trust you like a friend should trust a friend. I know it’s hard to believe this, but you were not my first kiss. You’re saying you’ve been wanting to, so leave me. C’mon leave me. High near the ceiling, I watched it all unfold. I sat in the shower until the water ran cold over me.

sleeping in the crawlspace
No time like the past to relive. So much I can’t bring myself to forgive. So
much I can’t bring myself not to feel. I’ve been so stuck in this it seems
real. Hey- hey you. Just a simple note to let you know where I am. Hey- hey
you. Hear it once and file it away. Please don’t remind me.
And so I left. I sat in the back seat and listened to a sad song loudly. So,
I guess I won’t see you until the next show.
No time like the past to relive. If you need me, you can find me in the
crawlspace.
Hey- hey you. Just a simple note to let you know where I am. Hey- hey you.
Hear it once and file it away. Please don’t remind me.
And so I pick myself up as you fall apart again, the same goddamn
performance we both gave last night. I know, I know you don’t mean it, but
maybe we should.
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Well, thanks guys, I guess I’m done. Hope you had lots of fun. I guess that
I’ll be seeing you. Send me the double prints, memories in rosey tints. We
can all pretend I never needed you.

s/t ep:

Monotonologue
(see lyrics for It’s Winter Here)

A Man Without Qualities
Nothing I won’t forgive, nothing I can recall. If this will make amends, I’m willing, if you’re listening at all. However improbable, I need to ask you: could you stay with me happily? Could you stay with me for now?

Harmless Hobby
If I could fake a thousand emotions, if I could lie lie like a pro, if I could get away with doing less, believe me I would. I wouldn’t lift a finger. If I could turn this knife a little slower, if I could turn this gun on myself, if I could use this information against you, believe me, I would. Oo no, I would. NO, NO, I would. (mumbling) It’s a summer’s day and I want to be wanted more than anything else in the world, just for a moment.

Sickly Boy
You take my time and give me nothing, no education and nothing left to lose. What has happened to you? You look just like the sickly boy. You roll your eyes. It’s just a nervous twitch, I know. I’ll take your abuse if you don’t need it anymore. I’ll take this from you. No education, no education.